The Marauders: Trial and Error
by Risa Ravenclaw
Summary: James' mouth opened, closed, opened again. "Um. Can babies have butterbeer?" / His wife narrowed her eyes, brow furrowed in confusion. "What?" / James stepped back from Harry's high chair, a cup of butterbeer in his hand and a bottle in the other. "I think he drank my butterbeer." / Trial and error, right? That's how you learn?
1. James: Anything You Can Do

**A/N: **So I thought about doing the "First Times," but I decided to just do a series of one-shots like I am with Soul Eater. This is from the Marauders' Era, and I'll have 'shots from James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, Marlene, pretty much anyone and everyone. I can take requests, if y'all want, just drop it in a review. Speaking of reviews, I don't really mind if you review or not, but it is appreciated. They let me know how I'm doing, so y'know c:

Also, this is rated T, because there will be language and sexual innuendos. Because Sirius. And James. But mostly Sirius. Yeah. Enjoy! :3

**CHARACTER:** James Potter

**YEAR:** 1973

**PLACE:** Transfiguration Class, Hogwarts

**WORDS: **861

**Anything You Can Do**

Professor McGonagall is doing this to him on purpose. Normally, he'd be paired with Sirius. But, no, she is sticking him with greasy-haired Severus Snape—a.k.a. "Snivellus." He is still in his seat when Snivellus stands in front of him. Reluctantly, he gets up from his seat, gripping his wand tightly in his right hand.

"Your grades will greatly suffer if anyone misbehaves and doesn't take this task seriously. You will also receive a detention and have your Hogsmeade privileges revoked. This is a partner project. By the end of this lesson, I expect your box to look nothing at all like a box. Am I understood?"

James silently swears. Snape's face is blank of emotion. James wants to Scourgify his head. The class gives a unanimous, "Yes, professor."

"These are not difficult spells. I am well prepared to take care of anything that may go wrong, but please keep your focus on the box. If anyone ends up with a transformation of any kind on their person, the pair responsible will face the aforementioned punishments.

"Now, will one person from each pair come and get a box?"

After a few silent seconds in which James stubbornly stands next to his desk, eyes trained on Snape's, Snape goes to the front of the class for their box. When he comes back, he sets the box on the desk and says, "I don't like this any more than you do, but I'm not going to fail because of you. I can do the work and put your name on it, okay?"

"No way, I'm better than you!"

Snape's face takes on a tinge of pink. "I'm sure we're all aware how much better the great James Potter is than anyone else, but—"

"I meant at Transfiguration," James interrupts with a wave of his hand. "But, yeah, I am, thanks for finally noticing."

"I—"

"Let's make it red."

"What? No! It should be green, at least!"

"Why?"

Before James could get an answer, Snape had turned the box a dark emerald with a tap of his wand. James' mouth drops open. "Hey! We're supposed to agree on stuff!"

"We're not going to agree on anything," Snape says, crossing his arms with a smirk.

James shoots him an arrogant smirk of his own. "Oh, yes, we are," he says. He taps the box with his wand, and the color changes to a deep scarlet.

Snape frowns and taps the box again.

James' smirk remains as he taps the box in turn.

The two go on like this for a full two minutes. Finally, the box ends up half Slytherin green and half Gryffindor red.

"That is the dumbest looking box I have ever seen in my life."

"You mean besides your house?"

"You've never seen my house."

"I can imagine it quite clearly, considering your awful wardrobe."

"Potter—"

"Anyway, I love Christmas, so let's keep it this way. I can stand a hideous green if it's against a nice red."

"Christmas is a terrible holiday."

"I disagree."

"_Of course_, you do."

James taps the box again, and the edges of their box string themselves into a brightly glowing Christmas lights. "Fairy lights would look better, but I don't think I can do those."

"You mean there's something you can't do? I'm shocked," Snape deadpans, arms crossed tightly over his chest. "Take them off, that looks tacky."

"Not nearly as tacky as your clothes."

"You've already mentioned them."

"They're bad enough to mention more than once. If you repeat something often enough, it gets through thick skulls like yours." Snape scoffs. As an afterthought, James adds, "Then again, yours must be pretty thin. All that grease on top of your head must seep in and disfigure your brain."

"Merlin, Potter, you insufferable—"

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Snape. Your classmates no longer have boxes. You do. Get to work or I will dock points from your houses."

"Professor! Gryffindor! We're in the lead!"

"By ten points. I have no qualms about taking that away. Now, get to work."

"Yes, professor," the two chorus. They glare at each other. Professor McGonagall looks to the ceiling and walks away, no doubt regretting her decision.

Snape taps the box. "There, now it's a circle."

"A very bright circle," James observes, bringing his face right up close to it. It's his turn to tap it. It melts. His back snaps straight. "Oops."

Snape's head falls into his hands. "I'm doomed."

The two do their best to make their once-box take its original shape, but they are unsuccessful. By the end of the lesson, when Professor McGonagall is walking around and handing out grades pair-by-pair, Snape's face is void of all emotion. James is uncharacteristically distressed.

"Impressive," Professor McGonagall says when she reaches their table. The pair stares up at her with identical expressions of shock. "I told you to get rid of its box shape, and you did. Not in the way I meant, of course, but you did what I asked." She eyes them both. "You actually cooperated. Top grades today for both of you."

James' mouth goes slack. Across the room, Sirius roars with laughter.


	2. Lily: Tutor

**A/N: **This one's kind of short. Heh. I've updated my profile with information on each of my stories. From here on out, this one will be updated on WEDNESDAYS. "Everyone's At It," my NextGen one-shot collection, will be updated on TUESDAYS. My Soul Eater one-shot collection, "Days in the Life of Soul 'Eater' Evans - And Why He Loves Her," will be updated every THURSDAY. I end up unable to really get on and write/edit/review on the weekends, so I'm doing the weekdays from here on out.

Enjoy ^-^

**CHARACTER: **Lily Evans

**YEAR: **4th/1975

**PLACE: **Hogwarts

**WORDS: **576

**Tutors**

She hates him, absolutely _hates _him. And Mary has a crush on him! How can she _do_ that? Doesn't she know how much of a _prat_ he is?

"Lookin' good, Evans."

_Oh, shit._ "Go away, Potter."

"I just wanted to tell you something."

"Go away, Potter," she repeats.

"C'mon, Evans—"

She slams her quill down. "Potter! Go away!"

There's a cough behind her. "Out of my library—_both_ of you," Madam Pince says, dangerously low.

Lily quickly and angrily throws her things into her bag. She quietly apologizes to the librarian and leaves, James Potter on her heels. Where is she supposed to go to study now? And Potter is _still following her_.

"Evans, will you wait up?"

She ignores him and keeps her fast, steady pace.

"I'm not going to ask you out, okay? McGonagall wanted me to speak with you."

Startled, she stops and turns, brow furrowing. "About what?"

"Since you heavily opposed getting extra help, she sent her best Transfiguration student to tutor you."

Her mouth drops.

"She didn't tell me how much trouble you're having, but I'm assuming it must be pretty bad."

The smirk on his face pisses her off. "I don't need your help."

"McGonagall seems to disagree." At her silence, he continues, "Look, I'll behave during the tutoring, if it makes you feel any better. Unless you _want_ to damn near fail your exam this year."

Her face grows hot, and her vision narrows until all she sees is Potter. She wants to hex him into next week. She wants to pour a cauldron of bubotuber pus on his head. She wants to pass the damn Transfiguration exam without having to stress about it like years previous.

"Fine," she grinds out.

"Great! We'll start tomorrow after Quidditch practice. You can come watch—"

"Potter."

Her warning tone has him raising his hands. "Right. Okay. See you."

* * *

It's their sixth session, and this is the first time she has ever seen Potter impatient with anyone about schoolwork. She thinks it's a bit (very) hypocritical, considering he never studies and goofs off during class. She still has trouble believing he's the best at Transfiguration in their year, but, when she asked earlier that day, Remus confirmed its truth.

"No, that's _wrong_."

"No, it's _not_."

"Listen, Evans, I know you can't stand being wrong, but you've got this backwards."

"No, I don't!"

"Yes, you do!"

"You're an idiot!"

"I'm not the one failing Transfiguration!"

The common room goes silent. Usually, the Gryffindors ignore them, used to their fighting. Not now. They have everyone's attention, and the room is quieter than Lily had ever experienced.

_I will not cry,_ she says in her head. _I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry._ But she feels the tell-tale stinging in her eyes.

Potter's mouth drops open, as if he's just realized what he said. "I didn't mean that," he says. He's no longer shouting like they were a few minutes ago.

She angrily grabs her books. With a wave of her wand, she Vanishes one of his chair legs before storming up the stairs to the girls' dormitories. Alice and Mary join her not long after. Alice proudly announces that Mary slapped Potter right across the face.

Lily cracks a small smile before a sob escapes her, and the tears start coming. Fuck James Potter. She'll get help from her _friends_ if McGonagall thinks she needs it so badly.


	3. Remus: Experiences

**A/N: **I forgot I had this one already ready 8D So I get to update it faster than I thought! Enjoy :3

**CHARACTER: **Remus Lupin

**YEAR: **summer of 1975

**PLACE: **The Lupin House

**WORDS: **928

**Experiences**

"Remus! Remus! Remus!"

Remus runs into the kitchen, skidding to a stop when he realizes nothing has been broken, burned, or damaged in any way, shape, or form. "What?"

James, Sirius, and Peter are staring and pointing at the stove. "What does this do?" James asks, raising his head.

Remus rolls his eyes. "That's a stove. It cooks food."

"I thought that cooked food," Sirius says, now pointing at the oven.

"They both cook food."

"Oh."

He is regretting inviting them over, but Mrs. Potter needs a break from them, and his dad insisted on it. If John Lupin knew how ignorant his friends were about Muggles, he would never have suggested it. As it is, James and Sirius have already loudly complained about not having house elves to clean up after them, and neither knows how to make any of their own meals.

The front door opens. Before Remus can do or say anything, James and Sirius race to the front door, shouting, "Daddy, you're home!"

Peter stands next to Remus, whose mouth is now open in disbelief. "I guess this is why Dorea and Charlus needed a break from us," he says. Remus can only nod mutely in agreement.

Remus' dad walks into the kitchen with James on his right arm and Sirius on his left. "I just adopted two sons."

"I tried to warn you," Remus replies with an apologetic shrug.

"Father! You don't sound at all pleased! Let us make it better!" James says, clapping his new father on the back with a stupid grin plastered on his face.

"Yes, Father! Let us make you a meal!" Sirius agrees, wearing a grin just as stupid as James'.

"Oh, um. Okay."

"No!" Remus shouts, holding his hands out to stop his friends. But they are not to be deterred—they push past him easily to the fridge and begin pulling out food. Sirius stares at the oven and stove for a good few minutes before James joins him. Peter, Remus, and John watch them.

"How does it work?" they can hear Sirius whisper to James.

James shakes his head ever so slightly. "Dunno. Milly does the cooking at home."

"Yeah, and Kreacher does it at my place."

"Who are Milly and Kreacher?" a woman's voice asks.

The four boys and John spin around to see Natalie Lupin right behind her son and husband, grocery bags in hand.

"Our house elves," James and Sirius chorus.

Natalie's mouth opens in an "o." "I see," she says shortly, slipping past the boys and setting her bags on the kitchen counter. "Well, here, I do the cooking."

"Why?" Sirius asks. James elbows him sharply in the side. "What was that for?!"

"I'm sure Remus has told you, but we don't have house elves," John says, moving to stand next to his wife. "And we don't use magic in the house."

"Why?"

"Sirius, sweetheart, why don't you get Remus to show you the television?"

"What's that?" James asks, turning to Remus.

His mother gives him _that look_, and he nods quickly. Taking a hand of theirs in each of his, he leads James and Sirius to the family room, Peter trailing behind them. "Are you two _trying_ to get kicked out?" he hisses to them. "My mum's going to send you all home, and I'll be grounded."

"What's—"

"It means I won't be able to do anything for the rest of the summer!"

Sirius' eyes widen. "Never seen you angry, Moony."

"Shut _up_." His friends are quiet, identical gazes of shock trained on him. "In case you hadn't noticed, my mum isn't all that impressed with you two." Here, he looks at James and Sirius. "We don't have house elves, everyone cleans up after themselves, my mother runs the house, my father works, and my parents get to relax in the evenings during family time. You two are convincing my mother that you're spoiled, privileged brats—"

"I _am_ spoiled and privileged," James interrupts. At Remus' glare, he backs up. "Sorry."

Remus pauses. James _never_ apologizes. "Just behave, okay? When they're not home, we can go crazy, but we're not going to stress them out any more than they already are."

"Okay." The three boys follow Remus back into the kitchen.

"Would you like us to help out in here?" Remus asks his parents. His father is getting pots out of the cupboards, and his mother is chopping vegetables.

Natalie glances over her shoulder. "Sure. Remmy, why don't you and Sirius get the pork chops from the fridge and start prepping them. They've been marinating. James, Peter, I have the oven warming up for the macaroni and cheese. You two can make that. John's getting the noodles ready right now. You just need to shred the cheese, and the sauce can come after that's done."

"Okay."

The boys get to work. Peter and Remus don't have a problem falling into their duties, but James and Sirius nearly injure themselves the minute they pick up cooking utensils. Sirius is sent out of the kitchen first after nearly slicing his pointer finger off with the knife. John used a simple healing charm to close up the wound. Not long after, James is shaking his hand and swearing. Natalie stops him by taking his hand and looking at his new wound. He had cut himself on the cheese grater. So John heals him, too.

Remus sighs. This is only the first day, and they have fifteen more to go. He's never doing this again. They can go to Peter's house next time.


	4. James: Mission: Detention

**A/N:** This…literally came out of nowhere. I am feeling like crap today…and this happened. I wanted someone to be miserable with me XD So I made it happen. Thought I'd go ahead and post it while I have it.

**CHARACTER: **Various (James, Remus, Peter, Sirius, James – rough order)

**YEAR:** 5th/1966

**PLACE: **Various, Hogwarts

**WORDS: **2103

**Mission: Detention**

"You want us to _what_?"

"C'mon, Moony."

"Stop calling me that! Every time you do that it means you want something, and I've already told you _no_!"

"Why?"

"She's my fellow prefect! I can't do that to her!"

Sirius speaks before James can open his mouth again. "We're his best mates, Moony. We need to do this for him."

"I agree with Padfoot."

"_Why_ do we have these names again?"

James lightly slaps Remus on the back of the head. "Are you going to make me explain everything all over again? We already know you disapprove, and we already know you're actually really happy about it, so shut up and help me."

Remus shakes his head. "I can't do that. I love you three, but there are some things I simply can not do while keeping a clear conscious, and getting Lily Evans into detention when she doesn't deserve it is one of those things."

"She's a right bitch, so she does deserve it." Sirius ignores the death glare aimed his way from James.

Peter falls onto his back on his bed. "She gave me detention the other day when I was studying with Samantha in the library. She said I talked too loud. She said 'hi' to Sammy."

"Unsurprising," James says, flipping a page in his Transfiguration textbook that he isn't reading. "I heard her tell Mary and Emmeline that Sammy's like the little sister she never had. Ever since she started tutoring her in Charms last year, it's like she's taken the little Ravenclaw under her wing."

Sirius snickers. "Sounds like you wish she would take _you_ under her wing."

"I do."

"The two words he will never be able to say to Lily Evans at the altar." As if he has just realized what he said, Remus covers his mouth. "I didn't—"

But Sirius and Peter are roaring with laughter, and even James has cracked a smile. "Watch it, Moony," he says. "You might wake up with horns and a tail to match that new attitude."

Remus pales. "You wouldn't."

"Of course he would, he's James Potter!" Peter shouts, throwing his hands out.

"He's the best in our year at Transfiguration, possible the best in the _school_, besides our dear McGoogles," Sirius adds.

"So are you going to help me or what? With the both of us in the same detention, there's no way she can avoid me. Especially since Binks only cares if someone tries to leave—he couldn't care less if we talk."

* * *

Remus Lupin only ever gets into trouble when he is with his best friends, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. More often than not, James is the one that comes up with the plans, Sirius tweaks it, Peter finds the perfect spot in the school, and Remus figures out how to pull it off without injury to themselves. Never before has he gotten into trouble on his own, nor ever before has he gotten anyone else in trouble than the subject intended from their pranks.

He passes Lily Evans in the library. She's leaving the "beasts" section, which happens to be next to the restricted section. He "accidentally" bumps into her, apologizes profusely, and she smiles kindly back at him.

"It's okay, Remus, really. I'm not hurt or anything," she insists. He helps her pick up her books, apologizes once more, and they part ways.

He slips her History of Magic essay into the restricted section.

Two hours later, he's called into Professor McGonagall's office, lectured on how disappointed she is in him, and given a detention. That night. With Binks.

"I don't know what got into you, Mr. Lupin, but if this ever happens again, further action will be taken. Am I understood?"

He only nods miserably and leaves when she dismisses him.

* * *

Peter Pettigrew is, according to most of the Hogwarts student population, the least troublesome of the four "Marauders" (a name they gave themselves earlier this year). James and Sirius are inseparable at the best of times, and difficult to be around at the worst of times. Remus is the "smart one," damn near impossible to beat at exams unless you're Lily Evans. Many people wonder why they weren't sorted into Ravenclaw.

Peter is underestimated, in his humble opinion. He knows what he has to do, and he knows how he can go about doing it.

He is with Sammy, right before lunch, still working up the courage to ask her out. The thing with Sammy: She's the prettiest girl he knows, the smartest girl he knows, and he's horribly frightened of her rejection. He's seen James get rejected loads of times by Lily Evans—Samantha Bobbins is like the little sister Lily never had. James gets horribly depressed every time Lily says "no." What if Sammy does the same thing to _him_?

Sure, he wants to be like James, but then there are times when he _doesn't_ want to be like James. Those include the "I'm-so-sad-why-doesn't-she-love-me" times.

Sammy tells him Lily rescheduled their Charms tutoring session because Marlene had a surprise for her. While walking her back to Ravenclaw Tower, she tells him where they are going. So Peter takes the fastest route to the sixth floor corridor, left-hand side. It is out of bounds for three weeks, because the seventh year Transfiguration students are doing experiments. Their application for funding to the Ministry of Magic was accepted last term. James is jealous, and he did everything he possibly could to let Professor McGonagall let him take part in it. She refused.

He glances around the corner. He catches a flash of red and blonde hair whipping around a corner and a whispered shout of, "Marlene! We're going to get in trouble over here! Damn it, are you listening to me?"

He snickers and silently follows. Before he can reach the corner, he feels a stern hand on his shoulder.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Pettigrew? This area is out of bounds to students not participating in seventh year Transfiguration."

Professor McGonagall. Bloody hell.

"Er, r-right. I, uh—um—I was just—"

"Going to your next class. And detention. Tonight, seven o'clock, with Professor Binks. Do not be late."

"Yes, Professor…"

* * *

"Our friends are complete idiots," Sirius tells James.

James shakes his head. "I don't know what's wrong with them."

"What about you? I hear you still don't have detention. What's the matter?"

"Every time I try, I get stopped. Or something goes wrong."

"Try harder," Sirius says, clapping him on the shoulder. "Anyway, I'm going to get Red her first detention since the beginning of fourth year."

And he leaves, slinging his bag over his shoulder as he does so.

He checks multiple places for her, avoiding the library at all costs. Amazingly enough, he is able to find her not in the library. As a matter of fact, she is leaving lunch with Marlene McKinnon. For half a second, he forgets why he's looking for Red.

Oh, yeah. James. Brotherly duties. Fuck.

Eh, he'll find Marlene later.

Except it doesn't quite work out that way. Red sees him and glares. Marlene follows her line of sight.

"Black! What, exactly, are you doing here?" she says, hand on her hip.

"McKinnon! What, exactly, are you doing with Red? Wouldn't you much rather spend time with me?" he replies, sliding forward.

Red's face turns red. Inside, he's laughing. "Stop calling me that."

"Seriously, Black, that's my girl you're talking to. She hates it."

"Whatever, Red." He walks up and smacks Marlene on the ass. She slaps him back in the same place.

Neither see Professor Slughorn until he says, "That kind of display is not allowed in the corridors. Miss McKinley, Mr. Black, detention for both of you. I do believe tonight's starts at seven with Professor Binks."

When he walks away, Sirius childishly stomps his foot. "Fuck!"

Professor Flitwick gives him a warning for his language.

* * *

James rolls his eyes. Caitlynn and Cody Rain, twin Gryffindor first years that are part of James' first year Transfiguration tutoring group, apologize in unison. He waves their "we're so sorry" away. "It's not your fault their stupid," he says. They smirk. He's proud of them for their excellent eavesdropping ability.

"We still feel bad," Cody says, messing with his tie.

"Yeah, well, _they_ failed me, not you." He shoos them and drops his head in his crossed arms.

Whenever he isn't aiming to get detention, he gets roughly three or four. The one time he is deliberately trying to get a detention, he fails. Every. Fucking. Time.

First, he made a sweep of the castle to find a subject. He easily found Severus Snape on the Grand Staircase. He caught up quickly, shouting for Snivellus on his way. Other students stopped to see the commotion.

Unfortunately, he hadn't counted on his popularity working in his favor. He and Snivellus fought with words first. James, knowing he would get in detention as soon as he had his wand out, was waiting for a professor to make him- or herself known. If, after all, a professor didn't show, there would be no point to this.

(Well, he would get the satisfaction of making Snivellus look like a fool, _but the point_.)

For the first time, Snivellus got his wand out first. Professor Flitwick decided to walk up just then. "What is going on?" he asked squeakily.

Students around them began explaining how Snape took his wand out on James and James wasn't prepared for a duel _at all_. James tried to correct them (as did Snivellus), but it was to no avail. Professor Flitwick told James he didn't have to try to save his pride ("You're a very good student!"), and he gave Snape detention. That night. Seven o'clock. With Professor Binks.

After that, he tried again. He doesn't even want to think about the second attempt. He had to go to Remus to fix a broken arm. He got laughed at by one of his best friends.

Worst day of his life.

* * *

Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black sat side-by-side in Professor Binks' Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. The professor is behind his desk, reading glasses balanced precariously on the edge of his nose as he read a book.

The three turn to the door at the same time when it opens. Severus Snape and Lily Evans walk in together. Snape is furious. Lily is resigned.

Remus, Peter, and Sirius exchange glances. At the same time, they whisper, "Which one of you did it?" Also at the same time, "Not me."

* * *

James is moping on his bed when his friends get back to the dorm. He doesn't even raise his head.

"James!" they shout together.

"You won't believe what happened!" Peter.

"She was in detention!" Sirius.

"But we didn't do it!" Remus.

"Don't tell him that!" Sirius again.

James raises a hand. "I already know you three did absolutely nothing to help me, your very best friend in the whole world."

"How—?"

Peter elbows Remus sharply. "The Rains."

"Forgot about them," Sirius muses. "They're almost as bad as we were when we started, eh, James?"

James sits up on his bed and glares at his friends. "She got detention. I know. Lily Evans is becoming the bane of my existence.

"There I was, minding my own business, trying to get detention by throwing a book through the library window, and there Professor Binks is, and he says, 'What are you doing, Mr. Potter?'

"And I'm about to say, 'Throwing this here _Encyclopedia of Alchemic Concoctions_ out the stained glass window, Professor,' when Lily Evans comes out from behind a bookshelf.

"Professor Binks is shocked and stuff, and he says to me, 'Mr. Potter, that is a very serious offense. I will have to take you to the headmaster's office.'

"So at this point, I'm thinking, 'Well, shite, all I needed was a fucking detention.'

"But Lily Evans! She practically _runs _over and convinces Binks that she made me do it, because she was really angry with me and wanted revenge for the way I treated her earlier that day. _And Binks bought it_. And then she tells me that since she did that for me and since she helped me avoid expulsion, I owe her 'x' many days of relaxation, meaning I can't talk to her, or she'll ensure that I do, in fact, get expelled."

Sirius and Peter are laughing.

Remus raises an eyebrow. "So _you_ got her detention."

James throws his hands up and lets out an angry shout. "Yeah! Yeah, I did!"


	5. Marlene: Potter's Problem

**A/N: **Yay, Marlene! So um. I don't know where this one came from either, really. But it was fun to write (: I hope y'all enjoy~

**CHARACTER: **Marlene McKinnon

**YEAR: **6th/1976

**PLACE: **Gryffindor Common Room

**WORDS: **652

**Potter's Problem with This Particular Party**

Marlene decides Lily is a fun drunk.

"Ha!" her friend shouts. She is in Caradoc Dearborn's lap, one arm around his shoulders, the other held out with a half-full glass of firewhisky, Marlene's drink of choice. Dearborn has an arm wrapped around her waist and the other resting lazily on the back of the couch.

She doesn't much like Dearborn, mostly because she wants James to win Lily over, partly because he's the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain and a rubbish strategist against Slytherin's team.

Marlene scans the room. The Gryffindor parties are always the best, and the prefects make sure third years and below stay in their dorms. Slytherins are never invited, but many Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws in her year go. Probably because it's "the Marauders" who throw them. (Sirius still won't tell her where they got the name from.)

The Marauders are in a corner with a larger group, mostly boys. Peter and Sirius are using grand hand gestures to describe something or other. Remus looks as uncomfortable as always. His friends got him drunk once in fourth year. He was a lot like Lily is right now. She resolves to get him that way again tonight. He needs to relax more often.

James, though, looks absolutely miserable. His eyes are on Lily and Dearborn. His eyes are also shockingly clear.

She is deeply concerned. Taking Emmeline's hand (and interrupting whatever she had been saying), she goes to their corner. She pushes her pale blonde friend into Remus—who catches her, thank Merlin.

Marlene sits next to James at his rowdy table.

"What the _fuck_ does she see in him?" he asks her.

She shrugs. "He's fit." At his glare, she grins. "C'mon. We both know he's not as talented as you, as smart as you, as witty as you."

"Flattery will get you everywhere," he says with a weak smile.

"You're funny and the second-best good-looking person in school."

"Who's first?"

She flashes a bright, toothy grin. "You're lookin' at her."

He snorts. "She's drunk and all over a prat."

She sighs. "Lighten up and grab another girl. Elizabeth Sanders fancies you." She nods to a soft-featured brunette across the room. "Persephone is playing, get her to dance. Do it in front of Lily."

James shakes his head. "I don't like using people like that."

"You're too noble, you damn Gryffindor." She pauses. "You took girls out before."

"That was to get _over_ Evans, not to get _back_ at her."

"Calling her 'Lily' would be a step in the right direction."

"Tried that. She threatened to curse my—"

"Oh, yeah, I'd forgotten."

"I hadn't."

"Was that before or after you confessed your love to her?"

"During."

"Ah. Fourth year, I miss it."

James groans. "I don't."

They're quiet for a few minutes, the party rising in volume around them to more than make up for it. Marlene breaks their silence with, "I still think you should ask her." She nods to Elizabeth again. "Let her know it's just as friends or something if you don't want to lead her on."

He takes her glass and gulps down the rest of her drink. As he stands, he says, "Okay."

Once she sees him dancing with Elizabeth—and Lily glaring at them—she lets out an exaggerated sigh and swishes her hips as she walks up to Sirius. "Oi, Black!"

His head snaps up, almost as if she's called her very obedient dog. Sirius? Obedient? Ha! She actually laughs aloud at that one.

"Do you need a fucking invitation?" she says, grinning knowingly. He begins to extract himself from his group of admirers (or whatever the hell they are). To spur him on, she licks her lips and pushes her mess of blonde hair out of her face with one hand.

He reaches her just in time with a confident smirk. Just in time, too.

Lily and James have started arguing again.


	6. James: Lisa the Ravenclaw

**A/N: **Ehehehe, James (: He's mah babeh. And he just keeps making friends. Y'all enjoy!

**CHARACTER:** James Potter

**YEAR: **6th/1976

**PLACE: **Hogwarts corridors

**WORDS: **962

**Lisa the Ravenclaw**

Sometimes—and he will _never_ admit this aloud, _ever_—he is jealous of his best friend, Sirius Black. Sirius can get any girl he wants, and he usually wants any girl he can get his hands on. Literally. The girl he's usually with is Marlene McKinnon.

Peers say James can get any girl he wants, too. But they're wrong, _so_ wrong. He wants one girl, and her name is Lily Evans, and she wants nothing to do with him. It drives him mad. _She_ drives him mad.

"You're distracted."

The girl has red hair, not as red as Lily's. And her eyes are blue. And her face is soft and sweet. And she's in Ravenclaw robes.

"Sorry," he says, hand going to his hair. "I—"

"It's okay. I understand," she says, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear.

He still feels bad. Especially about thinking of another girl while he was kissing her. And she is the fifth girl this month. The first redhead. With the other girls, he discovered he just doesn't like any shade of blonde or brown or black on girls. One of them had blue hair. That was interesting.

"Sorry," he says again.

She smiles at him. "If it makes you feel any better, I was using you, too." At his disbelieving stare, she continues, "My friend, Sally, was bragging about being with your friend, Sirius, so I thought I could one-up her."

He grins. "Well, you have. And I've one-upped him, if we're going to do it this way."

She smirks. He thinks he can definitely be friends with this girl. "I'm thinking I tell her and you tell him we had the night of our lives, and let them think what they will."

"I like the way you think…" Fuck. The one time he actually wants to remember a girl's name.

Her smirk remains. Finally, she decides to take pity on him, "Lisa."

"Lisa. I like the way you think, Lisa the Ravenclaw."

"I like the way _you_ think, James the Gryffindor. Shall we?" She offers her arm, and he loops his through hers.

"We shall. Sirius will be in the Astronomy Tower, so we'll be behind the tapestry of Merlin on the second floor. Sound good?"

"You can go behind that?"

James chuckles. "Oh, Lisa, you have so much to learn. Yes. Yes, you can."

"I want to! Right now!"

He doesn't remind her that it's almost one in the morning, that the caretaker or a professor could catch them at any time, that he doesn't want that particular short-cut to get out, because he desperately needs it to get to all his classes on time.

"Let's go, then," he says, pulling on her hand.

They don't make it. Halfway down the second floor corridor to the tapestry, Lily Evans and Dawn Asher turn the corner. James forgot to ask Remus about the night's prefect rounds.

James and Lisa skid to a stop. Evans' eyes train on them, on their linked hands. Dawn Asher coughs uncomfortably.

Evans walks right up to them, crosses her arms, and grins wickedly. "Potter, Kantor. It's one in the morning, well past curfew. I do believe that should count for at least two detentions, don't you, Dawn?"

The other girl shifts from foot to foot and shrugs.

"I do," Evans continues. She meets James' eyes. "Isn't it a bit low of you to sleep with a girl with red hair because you can't have the one you oh-so-desperately want?"

"Isn't it a bit arrogant of you to think he's sleeping with me because I have red hair? I'm one of the best students in my year, I'm the Keeper of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, and I happen to be a hell of a lot more pleasant to be around than _you_," Lisa says before he can open his mouth.

Dawn's mouth drops. So does James'.

"Don't fool yourself," Evans all but spits out. "Once he's done with you, he won't look at you twice."

Lisa's face adopts the smirk from earlier. "We'll see." And she pulls James past the two prefects.

"Hold it!" Dawn seems to have found her voice, and James stops in surprise. He's never heard the Hufflepuff sixth year say much more than "hi." She steps right up to him, arms crossed. "I believe Lily and I decided on two detentions for you two."

"I thought it was just Evans that had decided that," James says, unable to keep the words in his mouth.

Her face grows red, as does Evans'. "Back to your dormitories, both of you," she says.

James and Lisa exchange a glance.

"Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to escort the lady back to Ravenclaw Tower. Safety in numbers and all," he says, turning and walking down the corridor with Lisa. "I'll be back in the common room for you to yell at me later."

Before they turn the corner, James can hear Evans mutter, "Professor McGonagall needs to make his punishments more severe."

They're quiet all the way to Ravenclaw Tower. Once there, before Lisa asks for the riddle, she spins around to face James. "I think that went well."

He shrugs. "I'm up three detentions now." Her brow furrows, so he explains, "Sirius and I kind of have a contest going on. Remus is our scorekeeper. I now have three more detentions than Sirius."

She nods slowly. "That is one serious competition." Her sarcasm makes him smile. "You still owe me a trip to that tapestry of Merlin," she reminds him, poking him in the chest with a finger.

"Thanks for that, by the way."

She cocks her head. "For what?"

He grins. "For getting to Lily Evans in a way I've never seen anyone do before."


	7. James: Sometimes

**A/N: **Yeah, um. These have fallen off an organized pattern. There is no set update date anymore, I guess XD They're just put up as soon as I'm done, every week. Heh :3

This one is just sort of in James' head. There isn't much more to it than that. He borders on obsession, lol.

**CHARACTER:** James Potter

**YEAR: **after 1977

**PLACE:** n/a

**WORDS: **936

**Sometimes**

Sometimes, he thinks she might—_just might_—like him.

Sometimes, he purposefully runs his right hand through his hair in front of her.

Sometimes, it's to see her reaction. Others, he can't help but want to piss her off.

Sometimes, he makes sure he's sitting close enough to her to be paired with her in classes.

Sometimes, that doesn't work so well. The teachers either have caught on or are catching on.

Sometimes, he takes out a snitch that he nicked and plays with it in front of her.

Sometimes, she glares at him for it. He only ever smirks in reply or makes a comment that is sure to bother her.

Sometimes, he catches her looking at him out of the corner of her eye.

Sometimes, he thinks he might actually have a chance with her.

Sometimes, he thinks that's wishful thinking.

Er…all the time, actually.

And sometimes, he dates other girls. Sometimes, it's to see her reaction. Sometimes, it's to try to forget Lily Evans.

Who is that again?

Oh, right. Lily Evans. Red hair, bright green eyes, smartest girl _ever_, sucks at flying, doesn't understand Quidditch (_can't_ understand Quidditch to save her life), fiery, short-tempered, kind (to most people, not usually him).

Sometimes, he tells her so. Sometimes (all the time), she uses some sort of hex on him that usually sends him to the hospital wing. Sometimes, he doesn't mind one bit.

Sometimes, Sirius reminds him how she'll literally be the death of him. He says she'll be sent to Azkaban for his murder.

Sometimes, Remus tells him to leave her alone, even if just for a little while.

Sometimes, Peter encourages him, tells him to ask _just one more time_, she can't say "no" forever!

Sometimes, he complains to his friend Lisa the Ravenclaw, who scoffs and says he'd do much better asking someone else out. Sometimes, he asks her who she suggests. Usually, she tells him to ask out one of her friends, all of which, apparently, have some sort of bet going on about the "best looking guys in school." Apparently, he's number two. He asked once who number one is. It's Sirius. He's not number one, because he's always hung up on Lily fucking Evans.

Sometimes, Lisa corrects him. "_Fucking_ Lily Evans is more like it."

Sometimes, he asks Lisa to go to Hogsmeade with him. Sometimes, she says, "Yeah, let's rub it in her face!" Sometimes, she says she's going with someone else. Recently, she's actually been seeing someone.

Sometimes, that new boyfriend of hers thinks it's okay to threaten him. He laughs and tells the guy that if he hurts her, he'll have all four Marauders to answer to. "That's my little sister," he says. "Hurt her, we'll hurt you. Badly."

Sometimes, she smiles and tries to throw an arm over his shoulders (she's too short) and tells her boyfriend (is it Martin or Maxwell?) that she has the best big brother a girl could ask for.

Sometimes, he thinks Evans might be catching on that he and Lisa are like he and Marlene. Except Lisa isn't flirting with his brother and letting the occasional "that's kind of like incest" thought slip into his brain. And, sometimes, out of his mouth, earning laughter from the two.

Sometimes, he knows she isn't, because she flushes angrily every time she sees them together. Usually, he has his arm around her shoulders, which might be why some people are getting the wrong idea.

Sometimes, Sirius, Remus, and Peter add on to the rumor mill, knowing they're trying to get at Lily Evans. Of course, the two have very different reasons. James loves her. Lisa just hates her guts. James doesn't know why, doesn't care to ask or find out if she doesn't tell him.

"Yeah, they shag like rabbits in our dorm room." Sirius makes James want to bash his head against a wall.

"Probably going to be together forever, them." Peter makes James want to bash his head against a wall.

"Never seen him serious about a girl that wasn't Lily before." Remus makes James want to hug him and jump up and down as their brothers bleed profusely against the wall.

Sometimes, Lisa drops hints around Lily Evans for James' benefit. Sometimes, she'll say something like, "Yeah, he's a big teddy bear," when talking with her friends in the library, making sure Evans is just around the bookcase. Sometimes, she says, "He's still not over Red, though."

James doesn't mind the truth of it. He does mind the "Red" bit. Lisa picked it up from Sirius. Lily Evans _hates_ that nickname, and Lisa knows it. _Damn it._

Sometimes, Lily Evans looks about to approach him. Sometimes, she opens her mouth when he's near her, as if she's about to say something. Sometimes, James waits. Sometimes, she goes in the opposite direction.

Eventually, he corners her one day and asks what she thinks of the newest girl he's taken on a date. Her nose scrunches cutely before her face falls. She shakes her head and tries to leave. He lightly holds her arm.

"She went on and on about how great I am. It was kind of boring," he admits. She doesn't pull away, gorgeous green eyes focused on the ground. He continues, "Don't suppose you want to go with me instead?"

There are a few minutes of silence. "Go where?" she asks quietly.

He shrugs and lets go of her arm. "Anywhere you want."

She raises her head, meets his eyes. "All right, then."

He smiles. Amazingly, she smiles, too.

Then, "You have one chance. Make it count."


	8. James: The Annual Hogwarts Halloween

**A/N: **A late Halloween special! All of them are late, I'm terribly sorry! If you peeked at my profile, though, you understand why, I hope. I did try to get to this earlier, but alas. Enjoy!

**CHARACTER:** James Potter

**YEAR: **6th/1976

**PLACE: **Hogwarts corridors

**WORDS: **1029

**The Annual Hogwarts Halloween Prank War**

James' third favorite holiday is Halloween. Every year since Remus told them about how some muggles dressed up in celebration of it, he and Sirius made it a point to dress in the most realistic costumes they could. This year, after watching muggle horror movies (James' current muggle obsession) over the summer, they decided on muggles' view of zombies. Due to the high risks of Transfiguring their own bodies for this, they enlisted the help of two of their female friends, Lisa Kantor and Marlene McKinnon.

Unfortunately, they were the first casualties of the Hogwarts Halloween Prank War. The makeup would not come off, and it _burned_. Thankfully, Madam Pomfrey was able to remove it. But, before they could get Marlene back, they discovered someone had coated her clothes in centaur blood, causing a very nasty rash. ("It's worse in the crotch area," she had told them at breakfast.)

Once cured and full of eggs, bacon, and toast, James and Sirius began. With Remus' and Peter's help, they were able to set up multiple pranks around the castle before their classes began.

They also got Mary MacDonald and Emmeline Vance to do their zombie makeup _properly_.

Right now, all four Marauders are in their Transfiguration class. Peter has dressed himself as a vampire, and his three friends convinced Remus to be a werewolf. (Professor McGonagall's eyes had bugged when she saw him.)

"As you can see," Professor McGonagall is saying, "Tana Lloyd knew exactly what she was talking about. I expect a four-foot essay on her seven theories by our next class. You are dismissed."

Chair scrape across the floor as the sixth years rise, packing their bags to leave.

"Time to check the fifth floor," Sirius whispers gleefully.

James claps his hands together once with a wide smile. "Oh, I hope it got Evans. She wasn't in class—did you notice?"

"Yes," Remus says unnecessarily.

From his tone of voice, James knows he is getting ready for a verbal onslaught from the Queen of Killjoys and, quite possibly, a slap across the face. "Relax, Moony, we'll be just fine."

"Besides," Sirius adds, "if she did get caught up in our little trap on the fifth floor, she won't be able to talk to us for a while." He rubs his hands together evilly. "I can't wait!"

The four boys quickly make their way to the fifth floor corridor, bags heavy with books swinging by their sides. As they run, they discuss what may have happened with their other pranks. Did a Slytherin walk into their boggart trap in the old Charms classroom? Did a first year find his way into their trick corridor on the second floor—the one that turns you upside down and always causes great panic? Or was it a seventh year? Oh, James hopes it was a seventh year. If it was a first year, he might feel bad.

"I hope it's Red," Sirius says, straightening his tie.

James suddenly stops dead. "Oh, _shite_."

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew." Albus Dumbledore is standing with Professor Flitwick and Professor Slughorn. Tehre are seven students in front of them: sixth-year Gryffindor Lily Evans (yes!), sixth-year Hufflepuff Emmeline Vance, fourth-year Ravenclaw David Stockstill, first-year Gryffindor twins Caitlynn and Cody Rain, second-year Slytherin Kassandra Selwyn, and seventh-year Hufflepuff Johnathon Smith. He has to admit he is impressed and disappointed. Three Gryffindors? Really? _Three_?

"It is very fortunate you should come this way," the headmaster says, "for it seems we are unsure of what, exactly, you have accomplished here."

They do quite a lot, but one thing the Marauders will never do—_EVER_—is lie to the headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the famous, great, brilliant Albus Dumbledore. James would rather die than lie to him.

"Right. Well…um…"

Lily Evans stomps her foot and mouths angrily, pointing an accusing finger at him. Professor Slughorn pats her on the shoulder and reassures her they will get punished for their terrible crime.

Professor Dumbledore's eyes are…disappointed? And his tone is quiet as he speaks, which just makes James feel horrible. "Boys, you need to go around the castle and remove any other traps you have set up. The corridor on the second floor has sent many students to the Hospital Wing for anxiety potions, and Professor Flitwick had to interrupt his class to remove it. Also, I do not know where you got him, but you must put the ghoul back where you found him. The girls are, quite literally, running out of restrooms."

James and Sirius stare at each other. Then, in unison, "But that wasn't us!"

"The ghoul, that is," James clarifies quickly with a raise of his hand.

Remus tentatively steps forward. "Sir, I promise you James, Sirius, Peter, and I did not bring a ghoul onto school grounds."

"Yeah," Sirius adds. "We have limits."

Evans stomps her foot again and clutches at her throat, glaring at them. For the first time since he's known her, he feels fear creep up his spine.

"There's really no way to reverse it that we know of once it's affected someone," James says, shifting his feet. "It kind of just has to wear off."

Quickly, Remus says, "It should wear off within half an hour or so."

_Should_, Evans mouths. She crosses her arms over her chest, glaring hatefully at James. He doesn't know why she's singling him out—Sirius, Remus, and Peter had just as much to do with this as he did.

"In that case, let us get these students to the Hospital Wing and make sure their voices come back without any hitches. In the meantime, Professor Flitwick will take you boys around the school to undo your handiwork. Professor Slughorn, children." They follow Professor Dumbledore as he leads the way to the Hospital Wing, and James takes an unconscious step back as Evans nears him.

After their fellow students learned the Marauders had been caught and captured, they did everything in their power to catch the boys unawares.

But it is much harder to prank a well-seasoned prankster that expects a prank from an amateur.

At least, that's what James thought.


End file.
